83C0000B: The error code that means a software update bricked your HP printer

Since earlier this month some owners of HP OfficeJet printers have been reporting [https://h30434.www3.hp.com/t5/Printing-Errors-or-Lights-Stuck-Print-Jobs/blue-screen-error-code-83C0000B/td-p/8684044] that they are faced with a blue screen error message, and a bricked device. According to the printer manufacturing giant, a "limited number" of HP OfficeJet Pro 9020x printers are affected by a blue screen error that displays a rather unhelpful message of "83C0000B" on affected devices' touchsc